Deter

I’m starved in a void.
Enjoying the finer things of what I destroy.
Looking for happiness in all the wrong places.
Juggling the present with fake laughs and different faces.
I question the anxiety of my future.
And fantasize to death about a neutered suitor.

Is it silly of me to ask another to make me cum?
To play my Latin blood passion into the beat of drums.
But spit in my hand an excuse of a fallen mark.
An overzealous spark became too dark to disembark.
Desperate I thought to go out and have sex with the world.
Blame it on my lover for not gleaming me a pearl.

Wasting time and not respecting my talents.
It’ll leave me washed like nursing homes and the elderly in famine.
All I hear are the cries of forgotten melodies.
And judges that won’t let up on this life’s felonies.
Running from memories where I became the absentee.
Too unhappy to unleash the phoenix rhapsody within me.

-Pennington©

Girl & Guy

Girl becomes super curious on guy’s taste in Porn.  Girl asks questions and asks him to put on a porn he enjoys.  Guy nods in agreement.  Girl asks, “What kind of porn do you like?”  What kind of acts?  Do you have a favorite video you go back to?”

Guy says, “I don’t have any real preferences.  I pick whatever act based on if I’m in the mood to receive a blowjob or if I have the desire for sex.  I don’t have any favorites and there’s never one I go back to.  They update their sites everyday so I watch something new everyday.  But I’m a sucker for mini skirts, anything lace and student-teacher role play.”

Girl notices guy doesn’t put on any video he likes.  Instead guy only shows her the sites he goes on to pick videos from.  Girl asks guy, “Are you going to put one on or not?”  Guy says, “I’m not sure which to pick.”  Girl says, “How about I show you some I would click on based on a title like “Milking Him”?  Than I can show you one of my favorite ones?”  Guy lets girl take over with a puzzled look on his face when he sees the porn star woman give a man head in a doggie position.

Girl asks, “Have you ever watched deepthroating before?”  Guy answers with a weird expression on his face, “No.”  Girl asks, “Why not?”  Guy states, “It comes off pretty pointless.  I mean, is the feeling that different from just having a woman go down on you?”  Girl says, “Some guys swear by a woman who can possess some deepthroating talent. Others don’t care about it and just enjoy the pleasures of dick-sucking period.”

After he analyzes a video of a lady deepthroating he states, “She knows how to breathe through her nose.”  Girl replies, “Yeah.  She must be a swimmer?  A fish on land.”  Girl moves on to another video.  Guy says, ” I like slow blowjobs.  Nothing fast and nothing furious.”  Girl turns over to guy and says, “Don’t get crazy.. but my hearts beating on what I’m about to ask you.  How about if you go shower right now and I’ll answer your question on deepthroating by performing it on you?”

Guy says casually, “Sure.”  Guy exits and comes back into the living room clean.  Girl asks of guy, “Pull your pants down and take one pant leg off so I can be in the middle of you.”  Guy does as told.  Girl gets down on her knees and grabs a hold of his deflated penis and starts to softly pull on it like laffy taffy candy while she uses her free hand to caress along his thighs.  Guy’s penis responds quickly and this makes girl happy.

Girl now takes a hold of his balls and starts to grope them tenderly while jerking straight at her large breasts.  Guy lets out moans that work in a leisure grind and once girl places her mouth on a few inches of his member he lets out a loud:  YES!  Girl becomes super excited and swoops more than half his shaft into her giving mouth.  Than girl goes in for the first attempt and her lips go down very low.

Guy stays put like someone is holding him still from the shoulders.  Girl goes at another attempt and this time makes sure her tongue is super flat and stretches her pink muscle on the base of his penis below, tightens the ring of her mouth and before girl comes up she makes sure to pause and hover in deepthroat fashion.  Girl peers up at him and asks, “What did you think?”

Guy says, “Yes.  There’s a difference.”

-Pennington

People Bullsh*t!

I have to vent!

There’s a lot I don’t like about humans and people as a whole.  Like their greed, selfishness, insecurities, weakness, blame game, dishonesty, justification, belief systems and utter endless bullshit.

Here’s a scenario:  I’m sitting down with two of my coworkers (Y and C) who I both truly adore when they aren’t being catty, jealous or judging others (including myself).  We are having a pleasant time spilling our happiness into Screwdrivers and Sex on the Beach drinks taking the night in supporting one of their boyfriend’s live Rock Band gigs when this coworker Y starts venting to us about another coworker (who thankfully wasn’t with us at the time and who I really like despite her reputation of being an airhead).  What gets me exactly is she doesn’t grasp the real point of what she should be making underneath it all.

Her blurts are simple.  So simple she can’t see the truth behind it.  She says, “This gal J is always late for work.  I don’t understand why.  Then when she comes into work she says she’s tired.  But what is she tired of?  What could this young twenty-something year old girl be tired of?  When her own mothers watches her son when she’s at work.  So what does she do when she’s not at work?  I’m sure nothing.”

Rather than Y say, “I’m jealous because I have two jobs because I want to be a supermom and allow all my three children and a grandson to take full advantage of me until I die.  I’m envious because she can actually have downtime and do whatever she wants rather than take some responsibility for coming into work late” she rather mention the above.

And I can’t respect people with their character being all out of, well, character.  It’s not J’s fault that she doesn’t need to work two full-time jobs and have zero days off.  It’s also awesome that she didn’t choose to pop out three children who will suck her nipples until they fall off for dear life leaving her body frigid, bitter and cold.  So who’s the smarter one?  I only hear one of them talking about the other.

Scenario two:  My friend gets into a car accident for lord knows probably the tenth time and chooses to pity himself a pyramid of sudden death to a material attachment.  Yet he wants me to get in on the pity party.

But why?  When one:  You only need one person to pity?  Yourself!  Two:  Why empathize if evidently he drives carelessly with complete zero fucks given?  Third:  Why hasn’t he learn the lesson of giving EXTRA fucks when being behind the wheel (because fuck the car that just got trashed by your own doing!) but because you refuse to appreciate your life to begin with?

But placing the blame outside himself has always been the name of his game because it wasn’t his fault.  I like to believe being honest however is a much better claim to being in control of your own life.  I’m afraid people think the opposite.

Scenario three:  FUCK THIS!  You get the point!

-Pennington

Brain Game

I’m tired of the Sets.
I’m tired of Reps.
I’ve suffocated myself
with every expectation
my ego wanted to achieve
I strangled myself 
with each mark
on the track record
strolling to the gym.
I now feel my steel church
has turned its back on me.
Or perhaps I’ve turned
my back on it?

-Pennington Hall© 

Revolution

Missing him when
he’s gone from feet of vision
Endlessly
I think, his thoughts, how’s it be?
Ring on my finger
a venerable object
as to why I leave it on though
I’m not his anymore
Double lives I live
a fraction of a second
of plenty gifts
I sought to give
He showers me
everywhere I go
as I look for
Peace Corps by my door
Umbilical cord
of my heart
O how am I to part?
I’ve ridden you down
to parts of his crown
Is this love
How I defend it over and over again?
Guiding spirits
my invisible friends say
“it’s a revolution!”
Questioning mind of mines
what’s to know
under what exemplary condition?

-Pennington©

The Madness of Want

Maybe I’m egocentric?  Or perhaps I’m unavailable to other people’s feelings when they’re based on significant others and compromises of exclusivity and the possession of my faithful sexuality to a single person?

I believe I’m made by nature to rebel against the norm, of the eager commodity of humans who remain in the center of what the world has ever known:  Familiarity.

I believe it’s exceptionally selfish to ask a person to be monogamous period.  To be able to make a conscious choice out of your philosophy, out of your environment is asking for rousing chaos.  It appears monogamy has much to do with sexuality and not of the love that unites two people.  What does love have to do with sex?  Or sex has to do with love?

I would like to know if anyone can offer me a good answer as to why a person shouldn’t be allowed to share themselves freely with another person in more ways than just an emotional or spiritual response.  Why wouldn’t I connect with someone unreservedly on sexual conditions just because my partner wouldn’t grant me permission?  My body is my will and so is my mind when I make a decision.

I’ve come to recognize there are lots of reasons as to why I don’t feel a closed relationship would work for me (until further notice).  I knew from the start I wasn’t some downright scandalous cheater but a person who felt caged and was practically dying to be unleashed into absolute liberty.

I’d wonder why I could be with a partner and decide at a whim of madness the desires I knew that weren’t going to be met by they.  Maybe what seemed to be hopeless was an expectation of a matter?  Something deeper I presently fail time and time again to put my finger on.

Perhaps I sit premeditating a cycle that becomes unbearable if I yearn for the obviousness of me wielding the power of a man’s shaft in my hands with a mind and mouth of a dangerous whore searching for the collection of sperm through wishes of instant gratification which takes place from her tangible performance.

Or perhaps I’m with a friend or two lounging with an array of smoke and alcohol and the heat of lust takes over me when I’m aware my partner and I rarely throw ourselves into the throes of passion where tongues collide first in a ritual of softness and saliva sparks the breath of required aspiration. Of a person savoring my body with their glorious hands and taking into account that tomorrow is never promised.

There isn’t a hiding place for greed, eventually it will catch up to you.  There isn’t a safe place for expectation to rest its head.  There isn’t a means to destroy the need for instantaneous connection.  Is there a point to living life without the utter abundance of life itself when there isn’t any time like the present?

-Pennington

Rose from a Garden

soak will ya
soak in the aquas of dream
without the courage i have
make it possible
to do what i’ve not done

soak in the purity i lack
and let me breathe in your red petals
of your love
and intelligence
i want to soak in your happiness
the water of conjoined dreams

-pennington

UFC 157: Mesmerized!

Xanga + Tumblr  and Huffington Post Link.

Hope you enjoy.

-Pennington

One for the Journal

I look at you with disgust,
Like an old argument that need not be discussed.
Don’t you know boy you’re living in your last days.
I’m glancing down babe urinating on your grave.

Your features are old and dull.
You don’t shine for a cause beneath a skull.
You sit under the shade without effect.
I remembered back then, when you glowed, oh so perfect!

Once you appealed to me.
Your posture and chiseled forearms darling sweet.
Now your belly stands in the way of our hugs.
And the question remains why do I feel smug?

-Pennington©

Unmentionable

I don’t want the responsibility of satisfying everybody.
So excuse me if I failed you already.

I don’t want to help the emotions that bind me to do as I wish.I don’t want to hide if I don’t have to in moments that make me feel alive and steady.

And maybe this obsession is heavy? Maybe it’s meddling and wrong?
Maybe it’s my sing along? Because I need a little hope in my empty pockets and heart.

I want something extra to look forward to than training hard and never making a start.
And this feels a lot like if I’d allowed myself I’d fall in love like what?

-Pennington©