Monthly Archives: November 2010

Why Can’t I Have Less Standards?


Why couldn’t I just be thrilled looking like a line-backer like most of the females in my family?  Why couldn’t I just be proud, surely, that I have thick arms from the genetics of the Latin pool?  Why couldn’t I just leave my Training passion behind me and say “I’m fine with not being the locomotive determine strong woman I am clearly out to be?”  Why do I have to have standards?  Why can’t I just be okay with being the staggering 210lbs I was long ago?  Why?

There are times when I’m down and out about the way I look.  I know I’m not grotesque, but I have these ideals I desire to obtain.  There are far too many trials and errors that knocked me down throughout the years and each day these trials and errors shave a centimeter of my will and grace.   I heard someone the other day say:  “Is there a such thing as a bodybuilder being humble?”  All I could think of was – why should they be humble? – when after years of achieving perfection YOU are the person who’s putting all the work and effort day in and day out in the gym looking to display the ideal to yourself?

I’m aware around the time of my menstrual cycle I tend to have sour thoughts and bittersweet feelings.  It’s almost as if being friendly and gentle to myself is some ridiculous crime I should never ever allow otherwise I would fail at my project, my mission.   So I abuse myself physically by training harder than the average person in and out the gym.  And with all this said, the question still reminds at the top, where the title begins:  Why Can’t I Have Less Standards?

Pennington