Tag Archives: Online Writing

Mammoth Crush: Dark Knight 2


Dark Knight

Here’s the first part.

During the months to come I was consumed to have my Dark Knight more than ever because rejection fuels me. The universe fueled me in its spinning axis and I couldn’t find a way to let go. Eventually I decided to embark on a Desire Spell in February on the coming of a new bright moon with hopes and dreams of overcoming this mammoth crush. I rubbed the candle with all my energy, heart and focus. I made love to myself on the floor while menstruating and took the blood and smeared it with our names already inscribed by a knife and chanted my hearts desire over and over again until I felt all was sealed. I ended it off with the most important words: If it’s not meant to be than don’t allow it to ever happen.

In April I thought of Dark Knight, I thought of the desire spell and how it had a year to work. However I transitioned my thinking into more positives and being productive in my waking life all the while burying my emotions for this man. Fast-forward and the summer months zipped by and now I could finally bear to look him in his face without an ounce of feeling washing over me unlike last January when I cried wanting to spend New Year’s with him. Fall was rolling on in quick and just about the same time of year when we spent much time together, the binding circle. By September his attitude changed drastically and he flirted with me in front of others unveiled and freely.

Within long hallways in front of gym members and coworkers he would hug me 3 times in a row, reaching out to grasp my clothing and pull like a kid who whined at mama for attention. This time around his “thanking me’s” were on a rich personal level during my moments of high-intensity cardio and he would randomly text me asking me if I were okay when I posted Facebook statuses of uneasiness or male stalkers. I had tiny wonders about his new stance but knew better than to fall for his hot and coldness. Then one night he kept smiled and looked me deeply in the eyes and said, “I had a dream about you, it was very sensual, and the entire dream had a real big impact on me.”

Once October came about everything changed completely, all the coworkers planned to go to a 5-star restaurant to celebrate the weekend life and when I asked Dark Knight if he was also coming along he stated with his ace of a smile beaming, “If you’re going, I’ll go.” I smiled and once again never took him seriously. But pondered when I got dressed up in an orange floral fitted blouse with a short loose skirt and pointed flats where he stared at me and stood speechless and wanted to say something more but stood on reserve and I in suspense.

In the dim steakhouse restaurant tension was building. Silently I saw my coworkers arguing with the grimaces of whose share the check was as I entertained others while they entertained me. I observed strangers walking by ogling my breasts which sat on the table while I sipped from multiple drinks as Mr. Dark Knight came to sit next to me and came clean about the past and he’s been in denial of his feelings for me for a very long time.

By the time we went to the pizza shop with half the crew we started at the beginning of the night and before the strip club he poured into my eyes with his chocolate almonds profoundly with the talk of if I wanted to get involved without labels while I puffed on a cigarette only to get more of a buzz from his words. I was in total disbelief but said yes.

And in the middle of naked women dancing, crowded room, bass booming, feeding cake, mooning people accidentally with my striped sporty green panty and in between Dark Knight’s clients who wanted to grope my breasts, swiping cards for drinks, drinks and more drinks, engaging in conversations with dirty old men, the best part was holding hands in the back of the cab secretly with Dark Knight away from everyone. The look and smile in his eyes were amazing with a sense of relief.

More barhopping and more drinks later everyone left one by one and it was just me and him vibing, his hand on my thigh, my eyes to the left right and middle of him. We closed down the bars on the blocks and broke night walking the city streets and my drunkenness died. He asked me to spend the night at his house but I knew if I did I would regret it more than if I didn’t. I wanted things to feel right and that didn’t. So on I went home in a cab where he called me and asked me nicely to touch myself while he touched himself. I was so nervous I couldn’t bring myself to an orgasm.

The next day when all the sober lit up my world and the disbelief quiet down until mere disappearance the question became, “Could I get truly involved with someone I idolize?”

P.S.

Should I write more about his story?

-Pennington

Rationale


I love a man who writes me poetry because I’m narcissistic and I believe in God because of this.
I wish I could hold on long enough to the woman I’ll never know tomorrow yesterday.

The future impairs people because of technology.
It is modernization that makes us feel old.

Right now I’m gargling air in my mouth missing the feel of a penis.
Swirls and swirls of tongue bathe on a suede wand.  There is something calm about oral sex.

There is something about letting it all hang out:  neurosis, guts and breasts.
A freedom like taking control of your blog and skipping the rhyming of poetry.

-Pennington©

Write In The Dark


I’m looking at today’s date and am dumbfounded by where the days have went.  This past month has been super busy for me.  Still my goal every month is to write no little than 5-7 entries.  But the real goal is to write a few entries a week.  Sometimes I hit the goal.  Sometimes I don’t, sadly.  When I don’t write here, believe me, I’m writing elsewhere.

Once in a while I’ll share on here, except I remix the post in it’s entirety.  The reason why I do this is because many loyal readers have access to many of my other blogs besides this one and I never like for them to read the same thing twice.  Plus once I write about something, I gather even more insight to what I was hoping to convey.

Anyhow to try and make up for lost time I’m going to share some personal poetry of mine starting with “Write in the Dark”.  I hope you enjoy.

Eat it up
Those words that were said
The joy within dread
Those years that were up
Thin but plump
Those years brought down
Hovered in and out
Eat it up
I won’t stay the night
I won’t be around
I won’t make a sound
I won’t pick a fight
Love is O so heavy now

And I will vow
To write alone in the dark

I find an enemy in everything
In the melody of songs
In wacky summer flings
In the kind word swing of a perfect stranger
In the look my mother gave
That mentioned nothing major
Eat it up
I won’t be around
I won’t make a sound
I won’t pick a fight
Love is O so heavy now

And I vow
To write alone in the dark

-Pennington©