Principles




Always interesting how when someone has a principle they live by.  There’s seem to be the only one that matters.

What makes my acquaintance believe his principle is better than mine?

Simple!

He would simply justify himself into believing that he is and his family are better than mine.  The reasons are many as follows the great luxuries of life like:  Money, Land, Travel, Support, Encouragement, Structure, Goals, A Childhood (to some degree) & An Eye For An Eye approach.  Since his Asian culture calls forth the magical land of perfected obligation to his parents from birth and being the Chinese Eldest is both detrimental and vital to his Asian existence and being his family have provided him thus far he feels he has something to justify himself to.

And this isn’t true in my book.  Especially when he claims to live by a  principle of “family comes first no matter” how deep the sacrifice goes down the rabbit hole.  No matter how you bleed your own self-worth out your fragile flesh system.

If family comes first – this is the principle – then it doesn’t matter how little they’ve given me since I was born.  It doesn’t matter how I raised myself all alone with the cynical wolves of the world.  I chose first and foremost, the length of time to give a fuck about those I grew up with, despite the deception and trickery of my own blood, as do many others around the globe.

But because my family has taken advantage of me endlessly and have chosen not  to give me anything in return, it’s in his right to get mad at them for me?  No.  No.  No.  I’m a grown woman.  I take care of myself.  I know my boundaries.  I’ve chosen to give up my family and let them slip away like the life of a close pet being fed the Death Serum through a syringe, slowly fading to white, gray, black.  Just so I can find some peacefulness.  And this is the decision I’ve made.

However, for anyone to shine upon feelings I do not wish to own at any given moment is an insult, a form of disrespect to the ancient dignity to my face and behind my stony back.   This is negativity to the fullest amendment and I’m not happy about this.  When it’s time for me to make a choice for my family (in this case) my brother, to make MY life easier for me and not as difficult as Clashing with the Titans of the past, well then,  I will do what’s right.

Whatever works to allow me to sleep at night.

Pennington

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