Monthly Archives: April 2011

Because Through The Bullshit It Still Rings True!

So I shit on him and talk negatively about our situation regularly.  I don’t mention all the details.  Not to say that I’m wrong and he’s right or that I may not be overreacting during the time my Little Red Riding Hood friend of the month appears.  But no one can know the whole truth without living in my shoes.  No one can know all the details because than my blog will be non-stop like the slop you left openly in the toilet after last night’s burrito came out your ass with peppery fire and a slight tear full of promise that:  “I will never eat this again!”

But then what you do?

I don’t leave much privacy for him or me.  Although I don’t flat go about giving our home addresses and how you can go about meeting us for more intimate or not-so-intimate details of our Life.  All in all what the card says rings true when it comes to him (despite my grudges, ongoing hatred and shoot in the foot shotgun resentment).  Eight years of being with one partner (no matter how on and off) can do wonders for your sex life or take away from it (from time to time).

There are things you never knew existed sexually.  Or even what it was like making love under a moonlight, feeling closer to heaven while for the first time in your Life experience(d) what it was actually like to have Meaningful Sex with someone you adore and cherish deeply.  I thought it didn’t exist!  *bangs head hard on wall*  There are things one wouldn’t care for BUT suddenly do!  Like getting your salad tossed and getting fingered and your clitoris massaged at the same time because nothing says I love you better than multiple orgasms! Then there are things you become aware of.. like if you two depart, well, good fucking luck finding this “service and decor” you had in your new partner.



At First They Root For You

I guess because they truly don’t believe that you’re really capable of doing what Nike has said best:  Just Do It?  Then when you prove them wrong…they watch and observe you getting stronger, showing improvements with numbers on the dumbbells/barbells, endurance game high for cardio/strength and you start slimming down in all the right places.

But then they flip the script and dislike your progress, your endless dedication, your halo of force, how you say no to delicious and fattening foods, leave the party to do cardio then come back to enjoy it again and blow right by them with steadfast conviction.

Women congratulate under their breath.  These wicked felines eye your body with disgust, yet admiration for they are bound to society and it’s methods of a woman’s body being her top value.  Then the males whip their masculine jokes (or what I like to call the-instill-scare-tactic to see if it works):  “Keep lifting and the next thing you know you’ll be growing in a beard and I’ll be asking you what creams and razors you’re using to keep a good shave?”

They say mean things that can easily be taken as a dagger to the ego (since I have one):  “I remember when you used to be stronger than me.  Or maybe it was that you were stronger than me in certain areas, say your Back or Triceps?”

Unlike many other Fitness Enthusiasts and Bodybuilders I don’t have true friends or family support.  The support I receive are from my social networking and blogging buddies that take the time to get to know me and admire my discipline, (even when I slack on the motivation to come through here and there).  See, I’m used to defending myself.  I’m used to holding up my guards.  I’m used to having my fists up, used to the fighting stance.  I’m used to shadowboxing and exchanging foul words with the best of them.

What can I say?

With people looking to knock me out my focus and almighty courageous attitude..
Could you blame me?


Jump Jump!

Jump your heart out!  Jump all the demons about!

Since I’ve been a bit limited on what I can do (upper body wise)..I’ve entered Cardio in the form of Intervals using a jump rope.  This has skyrocketed my heart rate as usual and has brought me back to the state I like to be with when it comes to my beats per minute.  I tend to be anal about this especially if I feel I’m lacking on my endurance and stamina for any reason at all.  No one likes to feel out of shape, gasping for air when they’re performing cardio, even those who are out of shape..( <–those just tend to be more comfortable with the idea).

Last night I broke the record, going from 182bpm to 205 MAX a few days later!  I was quite happy, amused and felt accomplished.  And as my teacher always said in fifth grade “Whenever you do something great or get an answer right don’t forget to pat yourself on the back.  Never ever be afraid or embarrass to pat yourself on the back.”  So I patted.  I wish I remembered this teacher’s name.  I wish he knew that years later I could still think back and thank him for filling my ears with esteem.

I digress. 

Why have I been jumping rope in the first place?  The first reason is due to the fact I’ve been training my Legs quite hard to where it takes me 2-4 days to recover.  So going to the gym to perform steady state cardio for a whole 40 minutes to an hour just seems a bit pointless, not to mention extra pain with all the stretching, contracting and sitting or standing on all types of machines.  To counter this and to up the intensity out of the gym and shorten the duration, I decided to purchase a jump rope for home.

Now this rope has been a charm to an extent, okay!  It’s fantastic in the sense that it revs up your engine and literally can burn up to 1000 calories in a whole hour.  In 15 minutes you can burn 300-500 calories.  All a big dependent on how much work and effort you’re willing to put in.  Probably the best thing with the jump rope is the ability to take it just about anywhere with you.  Just drop it in your bag and go to a park, go into the street or in the lobby of your building and rope the bitch out.  This is perfect!  Not for nothing, you know how resistance bands are awesome for putting in your bag when you’re traveling..well, what can beat a jump rope for extra cardiovascular work?  Nothing!

Not to mention jump rope teaches you how to balance, remain in one steady spot, enhances your agility, endurance, stamina, coordination, timing and rhythm.  And, yes it can be quite fun, especially when you have flashbacks of jumping-rope with the neighborhood kids!  One of the things that makes jump-roping fun is being able to perform many different variations and tricks once you get into the rhythm of the rope dance.  I like to do small lunges, hop side to side, skip jumping forward/backwards, hopping on one foot then switching as if I’m doing a standing calf raise, to jumping jacks (where you’re opening and closing your legs in and out).

Some of my goals with the rope is to be able to perform:  The criss-cross, double and triple jumps.  Also to be in top condition with my rounds being 3 minutes on for jumping and 1 minute for resting and repeating this for 30 minutes straight.  What are we without little simple goals? 😉

The many variations of jumping rope make it fun as hell.  Plus this makes the time go by quick especially when you’re doing 30 second intervals and 30 seconds rest for 15-20 minutes.  I may do 2 sessions of this in a day with a smile on my face because I know that a cardio equipment can’t burn nearly as much as a jump rope (except running…but who wants to run with sore ass glutes and legs? ).

But because in my head I envision myself to be an athlete..a boxer..another MMA champion training for an upcoming title when I’m performing with the rope…why not make a whole game out of it? ..WHEN I CAN….because it makes everything better…because motivation works however one can make it so.  Whatever works for you I always say.  Now here are some awesome videos of some cool ass tricks that are beyond my thought process starting with this guy:

Now take a look at the Jump Rope Championships.  This left my mouth wide open.  How the hell?  What I truly wonder is how many years does it take to practice this and be this FUCKING GOOD?  Not good.  But FUCKING AMAZING!  Note this is a TEAM!  They make it look effortless.  DOH!  I completely admire their amazing ability.  I mean, I can’t even imagine how much dedication and discipline this took?  How many fucking years?

Did you enjoy it? 

So far I notice a few different things with rope jumping.. like how it tends to be hard on the ankles and feet especially if you’re upping the rope turns in full speed.  When beginning to jump rope I do not recommend to do it more than 2 times a week or over 15-20 minutes at a time, unless you’re a runner and have built up the foot and ankle muscles.  Building up these foot muscles tend to take at least 3-4 weeks.

Many people will say it’s easy to jump rope.  But this isn’t so.. for the people who don’t have good timing or have a hard time receiving shock from their ankles and shins.  Sure when you feel the shock, you may or may not feel it at the given moment.  But trust me when I say the very next day you may very well feel it in each of your metatarsals and wonder in the beginning, “What made me decide to jump rope so vigorously?”  O for the love!

Don’t try to be a boxer.  But enjoy the dance of the rope.  Just vibe to it like a jam you love from the youthful childhood days.  Give way!


One Of Those Nights

(Written 2 days ago)

I don’t know what it was tonight. 

I don’t know if it was due to all the crashes I was experiencing today?  Or the pizza I decided to order earlier? (Yes, I’ve been slacking on nutrition.  Yes it happens!  Yes, I need more practice then the 8 months on and 5 months off kind of thing throughout the year.)  I don’t know if it was the carbs that zapped me dry at the end?  I don’t know anything!  All I knew is I was dragging the entire day to get in a workout.  I knew it was going to be cardio and legs.  But it was just so hard to start it today.  This is rare for me… even though I decide to slack on nutrition..I never slack off on any training session…  It’s just too fucking fun for me!  The rush..the blood…the focus..the zone!

And though mentally I didn’t have the heart to go full force…  even after I tried to build some extra inspiration & motivation…by reading other people’s blogs, their videos, searching through better insight about nutrition and the whole shebang…  Nothing was doing it for me!  But I know myself.  If I don’t have a good or better yet… a fascinating and crucial reason as to why I should skip a workout….I won’t!…even when I’m hurting and in need of rest… So this part is easy for me anyhows..the fun…enjoyment…yet.. I’ve worked out in worse conditions…that… a little drag.. a little less heart ain’t shit to me.  Just a measly eye roll.  Hah! 

So..the next and best tool in anybody’s pocket is mental toughness..another way of saying relying on yourself.

What edge me on?   M-E!  Just looking at myself in the mirror and finding the grind determination grimace was just the start of it…  Feeling like a warrior.. I dove into the mind-body muscle connection and made every single rep count as if… each inhale/exhale contained my final life and I had to get through it in order to survive the funk…the funk of the drag.  I made sure to gaze at the muscles lengthening and contracting.  To feel and watch where my current and future gains and striations will be. 

I love the feel of the pump, the hot blood swirling underneath my hot and flushed skin.  I love the feel of cold steel tickling, scraping and peeling off my calluses and creating new ones.  I love that every single rep was another hassle telling me to “give up”..but I didn’t.  I stood in the game… with my game face on….with an imaginary audience cheering me on!..  I forge my way, I fought the current and carried myself through the waves.  The next thing I know everything was coming and working together..and the rest became history.  One I’m learning to create over and over and over again!

I think about those silly statements or mantras I can come up with on the spot from songs, celebrities, Wrestling superstars, me, network friends and whatnot:  “There ain’t no stopping me now!”  “Courage today.  Victory tomorrow.”  “Be all you can be.”  “Getting faster, bigger and stronger!”  “You can hate me now, But I won’t stop now!”

On the night of dragging..I thought I could have added new exercises and be extra excited… didn’t work…. I decided to work out at home this time around.  E-Z Curl Bar, plates and mental toughness all on the menu….   My body had no idea what was coming…  I played all secretive and shit.. jotting down the exercises I researched tonight:  E-Z Curl Bar Weighted Glute Bridge, Front Squats (bar supported by my deltoids), Curling Bar Hack Squats (bar behind you), Walking Lunges, some Dynamic Lunges, a few reps of Back Squats and Stiff Legged Deadlifts.  I warmed up first with jumping jacks, etc.  I did 5 sets of 10 on everything.  I started with the weighted glute bridge first.  Then I kept it where I picked 2 exercises to be in superset mode (Hack Squat/SLDeads).  Then Front/Back Squats.  Then Dynamic lunges followed by consecutive 100 reps of walking lunges.

Yes, I was exhausted! 

Something quite glorious has happened, last week also..I’ve leveled up into a new level of soreness, pump and contraction in my glute area.  The (only) best way to describe it is:  Highly Concentrated (Soreness).  As I sit now writing this, my glutes ON if somehow I lit them up with matches after pouring alcohol!  This may be how a dog feels like when he’s rubbing his butthole across the floor when it itches.  In the words… of an old classic game NBA JAM:  SHE’S ON FIREEEE!!  Sure am!  As of right now it feels uncomfortable to sit on my ass.  It’s annoying, abusive…yet completely fucking amazing I tell ya!

Go out and LOVE your DAMN self!


White Castle is my favorite fast food.  Many, consider them “murder burgers.”  For me this is the last meal I want if my life ended tomorrow.  😉



I’m pumped,
Overly-Excited like my heartbeat
On a Burpee Jump!

I’m a woman on a mission
On a fight for every admission.
With a face nonchalant

And an aura full of avant-garde.
I used to be a kernel of small faith
Now I’m bound to a glory wonder of eighth

In a world of metal and steel
Of live muscle art that makes it all real.

The reps are futile

And my mind, it knows, Nooooo resistance!
Every mile full of smile
Where insistence plows any indifference
In the many avenues of my spirits
Between the flesh and it’s limits.
If, at any point, I allow my brain to cave
This would be of the biggest mistake

And this would speak of being lenient
And that is not me nor my life previous.
Never my training or performance of entertaining
Will I lack the passions of sustaining!
In the light of my lime
I stand alone
If I fail, who can I pin the blame on?
I’m grown!

As of now I’ am
The tightness of my forearm

The density of weight packed like an animal farm
As of now I’ am
The furious speed demon racing in my veins
The promising abuse of self-induced physical pain
As of right now I’ am
The hunger that lives in the warrior spirit
The aura within me is authoritatively livid
I’ve got the mind on Training Life’s party
To warp my own body
Because I live for this Shit!



I saw the pain in his eyes
A long story written with family ties
The cry for help
A disguised contempt

Like a poisonous suicide attempt
Destined to have met
Red-flags, flower petals
And solitary cement
In hopes of catching
The audiences’ attention
Rather than offer mind
To his impervious reflections.

I heard his voice quiver and cracking
As if he were at the height of puberty
As if he were lashing
Like broken abused violins scratching

At the hands between

Innocence, misery,
Comfort and history.

I see he cut his hair short
Looking to resort a kind of support
And I know thinning disappeared from his mind.
He keeps picking up branches
Setting them in lines,
And at the core he finds
There was once upon a time
When thumbs were sucked
And he lied on mommy’s bosom
Believing it created luck
Maturity questioning,
Is there a thing as such?

The growing beast of realization
Of not having nothing is settling in
And I watch
His globe spin
His demons and angels wrestling
He investigates:
Does the past have wings?
Can I allow others to pull my puppet strings
And still wind up King?

Which way til
The pendulum
Which way til
The pendulum



The Power Of Ginseng

Since last year I’ve been experimenting with supplements, mostly vitamins.  First it started with taking a multivitamin on a regular.  Then I read elsewhere that it also doesn’t hurt to take a multimineral vitamin.  But, then soon after I started to attack a wide range of vitamins, along with teas that have great effects on the immune system and so forth.  Learning to be healthy is a long detailed journey.  Not to mention extra work to make sure one is researching and personally testing out products on thyself.

Why Ginseng?  Well, I like to think I bumped into Ginseng by accident.  How?  I’ve been fasting on Fridays/Sundays early morning and throughout the afternoon.  For the simple fact that it seems my body runs on 2-3 hours of sleep normally (from being a night owl on Saturdays, then having to open the gym up the next day), so when I eat on this day my body becomes ill.  Not to mention quite dehydrated.  Rather than torture my body by eating and enduring some sickness.  I fast for 7-8 hours.

But I allow myself to drink liquids.  I truly only drink water.  Took me a long time to only drink water, but I did it.  So on Sundays I stop by a gym that makes fresh squeeze juice with Ginseng, Ginger, Aloe Vera and the works.  And I bought a Power Juice that had these same ingredients in them along with beets, carrots and apples.  It tasted very weird.  My taste buds aren’t used to Ginger at all.  However it cleaned my entire system out and left me proud to leave the bathroom.

And now Ginseng is at the top of the list of supplements.

“Ginseng strengthens the heart and nervous system.  It builds general mental and physical vitality and resistance to disease by strengthening and stimulating the endocrine glands that control all basic physiological processes including the metabolism of vitamins and minerals.  Soviet researchers report that ginseng normalizes the level of arterial pressure and is effective in the treatment of both hypertension and hypotension.”

The Power Benefits of Ginseng

Increases energy and endurance
Increases sexual appetite
Increases memory, alertness and mental clarity
Improves circulation
Decreases stress/fatigue
Fights colds, flu and other infections
Ant-aging properties
Used in treatment for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Used in treatment for Type II Diabetes
Regulates blood sugar level
Used in treatment for men with Sexual Dysfunction
Lowers cholesterol
Claims to prevent Cancer

Why I take Ginseng?

Honestly the only reason why I take Ginseng is because it helps me go to the bathroom.  (Though I’ve notice it has increased both my energy and my sexual desire.)  All my life I’ve always felt unhealthy due to constipation.  Whether it was the food I  ate (beef, cheese, fried food) in the past at the time or whether it was passed down to me through genetics, I just had a tough time releasing the shit within me.  So much SO that I would actually dream of shit suffocating my throat like a leech and I had to force it to come out my mouth.  Awkward?  Indeed!

Nowadays I have a shitting addiction or a profound fascination with wanting to take a shit.  Not shitting to shitting can do that to a person.  And because I live from one extreme to another extreme this seems fairly normal to me.  I’m by far extra amused when I use the bathroom and let go.  If I take a Python in the toilet, I’m excited to the point where I want to celebrate and take a photo with my Blackberry.  As you know, it’s quite important for anyone to be able to go to the bathroom especially if they’re shitting houses.

What can I say, ginseng has been good to me. 😉


I Dislike Motivating Others

motivated people only
Read Carefully!

The number one thing I hate about being a personal trainer is “Motivating People.”  It’s hard and frustrating like procrastinating on procrastinating.

And everyone needs motivation, whether they need more of it, need it for the day, need it for a split second to boost their egos, shine through their jobs or make it through Life just another day. Whatever the case is, never forget that this also includes motivation for other Personal Trainers. Some trainers may have you believe they have the Magic Motivation Potion at all times. But they’re full of shit. Yes, they’re human too. And if you scope the gym properly you will see that OH, YES! –> Trainers train other Trainers. And they should.  For the simple fact remains that you never know what you can learn from others.

Does anyone even realize how hard it is to motivate people in general?

I’m not sure if they do.  If you’re selling an item like something that sells itself, say Cars?  Then is it selling when it basically sells itself?  Do you need to fully commit and try super hard to convince people why this/that particular car is so lovely?  There are many folks out there who don’t know anything about the tiny details of a car, say, 4 cylinders as oppose to 12 and what the hell is Front Wheel, Rear Wheel or All Wheel Drive.  So, No!  This doesn’t count.  Cars sell themselves.  (Or rather the eyes are deceived quite easily?  Ears too.)  Things like necessities are another thing that sells itself.  It’s actually, worse, don’t you think?  Necessities..boy how we all NEED things. 

Sometimes people say Motivation comes down to Presentation.  This is tough, depending on who your audience is, how you are as a person, how interconnected you are towards the situation., etc.  You have to learn how to build great rapport, stand and own your ground, all the while relating to this person you’re about to train with.  I mean, “Why should they believe in you?”  You have to live up to be an example and live up to be the hype or bullshit you’re speaking about, in order to fully motivate folks. And what about the folks who just HATE working out? That just the thought alone not only freaks them out but they start imagining hives coming out of their fucking pores!

How hard is it to motivate your kids to do something (if you’re a parent)?  How hard is it to compromise and find balance in in your relationships?  How hard is it to get out of an old habit when you’re working on the new you?  How hard is it to start something new?  How hard is it to keep the consistency flowing?   To keep a positive attitude?  To always find and believe in a Way? To have faith in yourself? To maintain the spirit of curiosity?  To only seek approval from elders and also by trusting within?  To be able to stay open and allow influence from the many internals/externals of life to challenge your pattern of thinking?

You need tactics.  These tactics need to be fail-proof (almost).  You must rely on everything.  Find and Decide What works.  Then go for it!  Some are driven by fear.  Like feeling self-conscious appearing old, having sagging triceps or sporting a big pot belly.  Others run by desire:  “I want to feel good by looking good!”  Revenge: ” Wait til they see me now!”  Others are propelled by results.  Others get off by the action day in and day out of non-stop discipline.

Believe it or not there are some reasons and beliefs you (can) learn to fall/adopt and be in love with.  Like: “I love being healthy.  I love feeling strong.”  Some reasons you may never truly fall in love with.  Like: “I have to eat smaller portions.  Cut out soda.  What the hell?”  Then, this is where sacrifice would come into the mind of your pro’s and con’s. Of course, there are going to be some lessons you have to learn over and over and over again.  And then, you have to know how to get back on the wagon when you have lost sight of your know.. when you’re losing that battle of Will.

How do you motivate people to drop a few grand on you just SO you can help them get in shape and keep them healthy?

There’s a million things people want to do out in the world. And we still have the majority of people not waking up and saying, “Oh I have to get my workout in.” Nope! If this were true, then we wouldn’t have such an outstanding level of obesity out in the world right now, would we? Most normal, average folks prefer going to the movies, hanging out with friends, masturbating, clubbing, looking for intercourse, consume loads of television, video games, drugging themselves, rather spend time with their relatives, put the kids first, study for school or drain their energy from working long hours at the office.

There’s a lot of people who are just not interested in their health. Not interested in knowing their Body Mass Index, body fat or bodyweight. I’m not kidding! Do you know how many people are frighten just to get on a scale? So imagine, how many folks avoid and skip their Doctor and Physical altogether? They rather walk in ignorance, rather than learn if they could prevent that blood clot that’s about to put them six feet under.  So why would these same types of people ever decide to go to the gym?  Why would they ever enjoy lifting weights? Why would they want to perform cardio? Why eat nutritious foods? Why?

Well, there are lots of reasons.  Too many fucking reasons ACCORDING to the WORLD.  And well, they need YOU  or me to figure out those reasons. Surely, they can get someone to help them find those reasons.  They would need someone to motivate them to solidify those reasons and make them priority. Sometimes it takes someone to bring it out of you/them. Sometimes people just need someone to hold them accountable, someone to guide them and answer their questions. Oh, but what about if they never ask for help, eh?

How do you motivate someone who doesn’t even want to help themselves? Well, some people say you have to be a psychiatrist.

So, what do you think.. is it hard to motivate people to do anything, (even if doesn’t include a Fit and Healthy Lifestyle)?

I think it is.