One Of Those Nights

(Written 2 days ago)

I don’t know what it was tonight. 

I don’t know if it was due to all the crashes I was experiencing today?  Or the pizza I decided to order earlier? (Yes, I’ve been slacking on nutrition.  Yes it happens!  Yes, I need more practice then the 8 months on and 5 months off kind of thing throughout the year.)  I don’t know if it was the carbs that zapped me dry at the end?  I don’t know anything!  All I knew is I was dragging the entire day to get in a workout.  I knew it was going to be cardio and legs.  But it was just so hard to start it today.  This is rare for me… even though I decide to slack on nutrition..I never slack off on any training session…  It’s just too fucking fun for me!  The rush..the blood…the focus..the zone!

And though mentally I didn’t have the heart to go full force…  even after I tried to build some extra inspiration & motivation…by reading other people’s blogs, their videos, searching through better insight about nutrition and the whole shebang…  Nothing was doing it for me!  But I know myself.  If I don’t have a good or better yet… a fascinating and crucial reason as to why I should skip a workout….I won’t!…even when I’m hurting and in need of rest… So this part is easy for me anyhows..the fun…enjoyment…yet.. I’ve worked out in worse conditions…that… a little drag.. a little less heart ain’t shit to me.  Just a measly eye roll.  Hah! 

So..the next and best tool in anybody’s pocket is mental toughness..another way of saying relying on yourself.

What edge me on?   M-E!  Just looking at myself in the mirror and finding the grind determination grimace was just the start of it…  Feeling like a warrior.. I dove into the mind-body muscle connection and made every single rep count as if… each inhale/exhale contained my final life and I had to get through it in order to survive the funk…the funk of the drag.  I made sure to gaze at the muscles lengthening and contracting.  To feel and watch where my current and future gains and striations will be. 

I love the feel of the pump, the hot blood swirling underneath my hot and flushed skin.  I love the feel of cold steel tickling, scraping and peeling off my calluses and creating new ones.  I love that every single rep was another hassle telling me to “give up”..but I didn’t.  I stood in the game… with my game face on….with an imaginary audience cheering me on!..  I forge my way, I fought the current and carried myself through the waves.  The next thing I know everything was coming and working together..and the rest became history.  One I’m learning to create over and over and over again!

I think about those silly statements or mantras I can come up with on the spot from songs, celebrities, Wrestling superstars, me, network friends and whatnot:  “There ain’t no stopping me now!”  “Courage today.  Victory tomorrow.”  “Be all you can be.”  “Getting faster, bigger and stronger!”  “You can hate me now, But I won’t stop now!”

On the night of dragging..I thought I could have added new exercises and be extra excited… didn’t work…. I decided to work out at home this time around.  E-Z Curl Bar, plates and mental toughness all on the menu….   My body had no idea what was coming…  I played all secretive and shit.. jotting down the exercises I researched tonight:  E-Z Curl Bar Weighted Glute Bridge, Front Squats (bar supported by my deltoids), Curling Bar Hack Squats (bar behind you), Walking Lunges, some Dynamic Lunges, a few reps of Back Squats and Stiff Legged Deadlifts.  I warmed up first with jumping jacks, etc.  I did 5 sets of 10 on everything.  I started with the weighted glute bridge first.  Then I kept it where I picked 2 exercises to be in superset mode (Hack Squat/SLDeads).  Then Front/Back Squats.  Then Dynamic lunges followed by consecutive 100 reps of walking lunges.

Yes, I was exhausted! 

Something quite glorious has happened, last week also..I’ve leveled up into a new level of soreness, pump and contraction in my glute area.  The (only) best way to describe it is:  Highly Concentrated (Soreness).  As I sit now writing this, my glutes ON if somehow I lit them up with matches after pouring alcohol!  This may be how a dog feels like when he’s rubbing his butthole across the floor when it itches.  In the words… of an old classic game NBA JAM:  SHE’S ON FIREEEE!!  Sure am!  As of right now it feels uncomfortable to sit on my ass.  It’s annoying, abusive…yet completely fucking amazing I tell ya!

Go out and LOVE your DAMN self!


White Castle is my favorite fast food.  Many, consider them “murder burgers.”  For me this is the last meal I want if my life ended tomorrow.  😉



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