I don’t know what it was tonight.
I don’t know if it was due to all the crashes I was experiencing today? Or the pizza I decided to order earlier? (Yes, I’ve been slacking on nutrition. Yes it happens! Yes, I need more practice then the 8 months on and 5 months off kind of thing throughout the year.) I don’t know if it was the carbs that zapped me dry at the end? I don’t know anything! All I knew is I was dragging the entire day to get in a workout. I knew it was going to be cardio and legs. But it was just so hard to start it today. This is rare for me… even though I decide to slack on nutrition..I never slack off on any training session… It’s just too fucking fun for me! The rush..the blood…the focus..the zone!
And though mentally I didn’t have the heart to go full force… even after I tried to build some extra inspiration & motivation…by reading other people’s blogs, their videos, searching through better insight about nutrition and the whole shebang… Nothing was doing it for me! But I know myself. If I don’t have a good or better yet… a fascinating and crucial reason as to why I should skip a workout….I won’t!…even when I’m hurting and in need of rest… So this part is easy for me anyhows..the fun…enjoyment…yet.. I’ve worked out in worse conditions…that… a little drag.. a little less heart ain’t shit to me. Just a measly eye roll. Hah!
So..the next and best tool in anybody’s pocket is mental toughness..another way of saying relying on yourself.
What edge me on? M-E! Just looking at myself in the mirror and finding the grind determination grimace was just the start of it… Feeling like a warrior.. I dove into the mind-body muscle connection and made every single rep count as if… each inhale/exhale contained my final life and I had to get through it in order to survive the funk…the funk of the drag. I made sure to gaze at the muscles lengthening and contracting. To feel and watch where my current and future gains and striations will be.
I love the feel of the pump, the hot blood swirling underneath my hot and flushed skin. I love the feel of cold steel tickling, scraping and peeling off my calluses and creating new ones. I love that every single rep was another hassle telling me to “give up”..but I didn’t. I stood in the game… with my game face on….with an imaginary audience cheering me on!.. I forge my way, I fought the current and carried myself through the waves. The next thing I know everything was coming and working together..and the rest became history. One I’m learning to create over and over and over again!
I think about those silly statements or mantras I can come up with on the spot from songs, celebrities, Wrestling superstars, me, network friends and whatnot: “There ain’t no stopping me now!” “Courage today. Victory tomorrow.” “Be all you can be.” “Getting faster, bigger and stronger!” “You can hate me now, But I won’t stop now!”
On the night of dragging..I thought I could have added new exercises and be extra excited…but..it didn’t work…. I decided to work out at home this time around. E-Z Curl Bar, plates and mental toughness all on the menu…. My body had no idea what was coming… I played all secretive and shit.. jotting down the exercises I researched tonight: E-Z Curl Bar Weighted Glute Bridge, Front Squats (bar supported by my deltoids), Curling Bar Hack Squats (bar behind you), Walking Lunges, some Dynamic Lunges, a few reps of Back Squats and Stiff Legged Deadlifts. I warmed up first with jumping jacks, etc. I did 5 sets of 10 on everything. I started with the weighted glute bridge first. Then I kept it where I picked 2 exercises to be in superset mode (Hack Squat/SLDeads). Then Front/Back Squats. Then Dynamic lunges followed by consecutive 100 reps of walking lunges.
Yes, I was exhausted!
Something quite glorious has happened, last week also..I’ve leveled up into a new level of soreness, pump and contraction in my glute area. The (only) best way to describe it is: Highly Concentrated (Soreness). As I sit now writing this, my glutes ON fire..as if somehow I lit them up with matches after pouring alcohol! This may be how a dog feels like when he’s rubbing his butthole across the floor when it itches. In the words… of an old classic game NBA JAM: SHE’S ON FIREEEE!! Sure am! As of right now it feels uncomfortable to sit on my ass. It’s annoying, abusive…yet completely fucking amazing I tell ya!
Go out and LOVE your DAMN self!
White Castle is my favorite fast food. Many, consider them “murder burgers.” For me this is the last meal I want if my life ended tomorrow. 😉