Admirers Come In Vaginas Too


There’s a gift I have (I mean, what else could it be?) where people are magnetically drawn to me whether it’s a child (not sure how since I dislike children?), men (no shit!) and women (for some reason).  I know men like pretty things and Americans enjoy big jugs and they have a dick and they think every vagina they come across in the city is an outlet to plug in.  But when it comes to women and what they like about me I’m as a clueless as a person who sits down and realizes they don’t practice a word of the philosophy they speak.

I wanted to ask this one gal who clearly was a dyke and clearly had a huge crush on me (said her action of stalking me outside of my Automotive Body and Repair classes) until she locked the bathroom door behind us and tried to kiss me dead on.  Still til this day many of my friends theorize:  You act too masculine Pennington and that’s why women are attracted to you.  But this can’t be correct because men would be attracted to feminine men as well, if I went by this?  No?  I don’t know?

Anyhow, every now and again since I’ve been training in the gym since 2003 there are two types of women who check me out:  Those who are jealous and those who actually admire me.  I never paid attention to the first types of women because there aren’t many women who can compete with who I am or even how much I lift or volume.  And as far as my admirers are concern I never fully paid them any attention, at first.

Until one night my brother pointed out this very pretty caramel-complexion twenty-something lady who’s eyes would follow me everywhere I lifted.  Since I went on a regular basis during the time I had extra time to observe.  One night leaving out the doorway my brother said, “good night” to her but she didn’t respond.  Instead she turned to me and said, “Good night.  Have a nice holiday” in a very flirtatious kind of way as if she’s in love, completely googly-eyed.  I looked at her type of admiration to be truly thoughtful and always took the time to be nice to her.

Then there was this other admirer in a form of a Zumba instructor.  I took a few of her classes. Mostly to work my grind and vagina in the air when I needed to boost up my sex-esteem (due to menstruation).  It works!  Whatever.  What I thought was strange however is every week after she was done teaching her class she would hang out with me until I CLOSED down the gym.  At first she would talk to me about some guy who she was head over heels over (I believe because he’s a millionaire) and how he just treated her like a booty call.

The she started to talk about her loneliness (which I tend to think horniness)and the greenlight smacked my head when it was time for me to change out my uniform.  She would follow me into the locker room (every single time) and guess who all of a sudden decided they need to change as well?  She’d chatted up a fucking dictionary while never sucking in breath saying something about her tits that went in one ear and out the other and tried to make conversation about my tits.

And one flip of her sports bra when I had my back turned and BAM!  Her breasts were out and I scratched my head with fake intention not sure who’s more nonchalant her tits or her?  Now some might consider this type of attention and boldness lucky (probably straight men? perhaps a lesbian?) as she patted her sweaty shining breasts with a towel.  But I assure you I was utterly dreadful inside.  Why me?  Why does this always happen to me?  I got the fuck out the building quick as lightning and I stop taking her Zumba classes.

Now why am I bringing this up?  Glad you asked!  Last night after I finished my workout at the gym right as I was about to head out exhaustively my coworker introduced me to this gal.  First thing I noticed was this gal mentioned she saw me working out (which I wondered:  how as I only workout where the men are in the basement lifting rawrs?  so she must have watched and scoped during) and her eyes grew big in buggy excitement.

I automatically felt on my vibe that this chica is giving me a certain kind of vibe.  (Although yeah I could be undergoing a case of normal paranoia?)  But as my coworker kept talking about how she has to lose weight and drain a fatty tissue from her bulging chin because she’s now 300lbs, this gal (who I’ll nickname Hazel-Eye) would not leave.  I tested the situation (by staying a bit longer), snacking on a Perfect Zone bar, finishing it along with hearing a lecture about going back to school and how do I always make sure to workout?  And this gal would not leave.

Actually she didn’t leave until I told my coworker I have to bounce to make it to the market on time.  She walks out with me and starts talking about, “Can we workout together?”  And of course I’m not going to say no to anyone who wants to workout PERIOD!  But I’m thinking this is how I bag dudes numbers by telling them, “Hey we should workout sometime.”  Is she doing the same?  Unfortunately I don’t have the answers.  Still we walked to the train station, exchanged numbers and we chatted until out trains came.

Signing off skeptical as fuck.

-Pennington

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Admirers Come In Vaginas Too

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s