Tag Archives: bullshit

People Bullsh*t!


I have to vent!

There’s a lot I don’t like about humans and people as a whole.  Like their greed, selfishness, insecurities, weakness, blame game, dishonesty, justification, belief systems and utter endless bullshit.

Here’s a scenario:  I’m sitting down with two of my coworkers (Y and C) who I both truly adore when they aren’t being catty, jealous or judging others (including myself).  We are having a pleasant time spilling our happiness into Screwdrivers and Sex on the Beach drinks taking the night in supporting one of their boyfriend’s live Rock Band gigs when this coworker Y starts venting to us about another coworker (who thankfully wasn’t with us at the time and who I really like despite her reputation of being an airhead).  What gets me exactly is she doesn’t grasp the real point of what she should be making underneath it all.

Her blurts are simple.  So simple she can’t see the truth behind it.  She says, “This gal J is always late for work.  I don’t understand why.  Then when she comes into work she says she’s tired.  But what is she tired of?  What could this young twenty-something year old girl be tired of?  When her own mothers watches her son when she’s at work.  So what does she do when she’s not at work?  I’m sure nothing.”

Rather than Y say, “I’m jealous because I have two jobs because I want to be a supermom and allow all my three children and a grandson to take full advantage of me until I die.  I’m envious because she can actually have downtime and do whatever she wants rather than take some responsibility for coming into work late” she rather mention the above.

And I can’t respect people with their character being all out of, well, character.  It’s not J’s fault that she doesn’t need to work two full-time jobs and have zero days off.  It’s also awesome that she didn’t choose to pop out three children who will suck her nipples until they fall off for dear life leaving her body frigid, bitter and cold.  So who’s the smarter one?  I only hear one of them talking about the other.

Scenario two:  My friend gets into a car accident for lord knows probably the tenth time and chooses to pity himself a pyramid of sudden death to a material attachment.  Yet he wants me to get in on the pity party.

But why?  When one:  You only need one person to pity?  Yourself!  Two:  Why empathize if evidently he drives carelessly with complete zero fucks given?  Third:  Why hasn’t he learn the lesson of giving EXTRA fucks when being behind the wheel (because fuck the car that just got trashed by your own doing!) but because you refuse to appreciate your life to begin with?

But placing the blame outside himself has always been the name of his game because it wasn’t his fault.  I like to believe being honest however is a much better claim to being in control of your own life.  I’m afraid people think the opposite.

Scenario three:  FUCK THIS!  You get the point!

-Pennington

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When You Value Yourself, Nothing Else Matters.



Judgement. 

Don’t you just LOVE this word?  Doesn’t this word conjure feelings of anger? How about happiness?  Or maybe a feeling like building, manipulating or fumbling a case?  Or what about tucking our tails between our chronic trembling legs running down a manhole hiding everything in range of vision while clutching onto our rosary of justification?  I don’t know about you, but when I take off the “m,e, n, t,” I find the word “Judge” to be painfully ugly.

Still, does it stop me from judging?  Or what I call prescreening or filling in what I believe is a profile based on age, skin color, style, gender or education?  Does judging a person make one smarter or stupider?  Does it keep us safe?  Or immobile with our guard?   Or do we find wisdom in it?  Are judgements the same as opinions?  Could the case of the person being judge be faulted by facts?  How much are we allowed to pin on a person when in the end it can all be a matter of perspective?

I’ve been burned once.

And I don’t mean like the one time at band camp during the age of 15 where I came silently into contact with gonorrhea.  I mean, burned as in Cast Away from friends, groups, associates and even work because I believe in stating however careful or blatant the policy I live by:  Honesty.  (For a story greater in detail which is along the topic of this one.  Read here.)  Now for the life of me (and I hate when I say this ->), but I understand and I don’t understand why the next person can’t accept my principles since I enjoy maintaining my codes:  Morals, Loyalty, Friendship and Respect to name a few?

Honesty has allowed me to be confident and clear with who I am in my skin and within my conscious.  Not to be mistaken with who I want or wish to be, presently or approaching.  Cheerlessly, my reliance level isn’t well received by others as they grow hate for my unintentional means of arriving which makes them feel uncomfortable or threaten with their already firing insecurities.  What do you know?  One of the infamous questions I get is:  “How do you do it?”   And it’s simple really.  If you’re honest with yourself and others, your integrity becomes invincible.  All doubts diminish as they’ll light richly with truth because your words and actions are aligned within the universe frequency.

Anything outside of honesty, living by a set of morals and practicing everyday challenges of being self-aware I want nothing to do with.  I have a friend who says, “Penn you have to learn how to accept people.”  But how can I learn to accept people when they don’t agree and welcome themselves first?  So, how will they in turn welcome me?  If the person lies to themselves than this will mean they’ll undoubtedly lie to me.  And why would I want to be involved with such brainlessness?

I never found it scary, nor will I excuse myself from saying the truth.  Promises are flimsy, waiting to be annihilated like the common people.  But, my words alone are my bond.  I want them crimeless, reeking of finesse and raging guts just how I treat my Training.  Rather than being the Average Joe and feeling I’m better off speaking higher than what I can display my character.  I wonder, if these people sincerely believe they can get away with this disgraceful behavior while keeping someone as special as me in their life at the same time?

When you value yourself, nothing else matters.

-Pennington

Because Through The Bullshit It Still Rings True!


So I shit on him and talk negatively about our situation regularly.  I don’t mention all the details.  Not to say that I’m wrong and he’s right or that I may not be overreacting during the time my Little Red Riding Hood friend of the month appears.  But no one can know the whole truth without living in my shoes.  No one can know all the details because than my blog will be non-stop like the slop you left openly in the toilet after last night’s burrito came out your ass with peppery fire and a slight tear full of promise that:  “I will never eat this again!”

But then what you do?

I don’t leave much privacy for him or me.  Although I don’t flat go about giving our home addresses and how you can go about meeting us for more intimate or not-so-intimate details of our Life.  All in all what the card says rings true when it comes to him (despite my grudges, ongoing hatred and shoot in the foot shotgun resentment).  Eight years of being with one partner (no matter how on and off) can do wonders for your sex life or take away from it (from time to time).

There are things you never knew existed sexually.  Or even what it was like making love under a moonlight, feeling closer to heaven while for the first time in your Life experience(d) what it was actually like to have Meaningful Sex with someone you adore and cherish deeply.  I thought it didn’t exist!  *bangs head hard on wall*  There are things one wouldn’t care for BUT suddenly do!  Like getting your salad tossed and getting fingered and your clitoris massaged at the same time because nothing says I love you better than multiple orgasms! Then there are things you become aware of.. like if you two depart, well, good fucking luck finding this “service and decor” you had in your new partner.

Cheers!

Pennington

There’s A Saying: Actions Speak Louder Than Words


A Jenga tower falling down
Image via Wikipedia

Now I hate listening to this expression no matter who’s fucking mouth it comes out of.  Mostly because I’m the kind of person who tends to thrive on what a person’s saying (whether that’s a female trait or not doesn’t really fucking matter) and thrives even more on what a person doesn’t say.  Want to find out about a person?  It’s simple!  Ask questions and allow them to answer with no interruptions on your part.  Most people who live in the center of society’s sex will speak mostly and generally on how they’d like to be perceived.  Some people will reveal a lot, except that most of the things they revealed are as trivial as a handshake.  In relationships, the words that are often never said are the ones people SHOULD notice.  If notice too late, then, what do you think would happen?  All the Jenga pieces fall apart.  Then, who laugh lasts?  Now when it comes to certain instances, circumstances or the simple creatures of the world like: Men.  Well, I must say that actions indefinitely speaks louder than words.

Some of you may know, I have a non-exclusive partner who I’ve been with for 8 years now.  Some things never change until one manages to be infected by an enormous amount of sickness.  This will ensure at some point, when the migraines become unbearable that you’ll break away from the disease of a person, place, situation or thing.  These actions, speak all so loudly in the words:  Lies and Bullshit!  I fail to understand why people would even dare to choose one or the other with me.  You cannot lie or bullshit to the folks who hold a fierce amount of wisdom coupled with a dangerous sixth sense ability like a God.

For Pete’s Sake I have dreams of other people’s dark secrets when I sleep.  They’re dying to come out, but you know how people are always hiding from themselves.  I can only imagine this is where all the lies and bullshit stems from.  People are scared of judges and coming out of their house of denial.  And this would be why I respect few in this department.  I will accept you as soon as you hold no shame and realize that the other expression: Honesty is the best policy is the most vital in this fucked up world.  So moving on..

A subject where Actions Speaks Louder Than Words comes down to the most insignificant hobby anyone can get into:  Masturbating.  Some of you may know where I stand when it comes to Masturbating.  Some don’t. Now if a person has an issue with being intimate with a person due to the fact that they have been molested/raped, then this is an exception for them!  However, on the other hand, I do not like it!  Some of the reasons why I do not like it and may seem extreme are:  It builds greed, lust, develops prostate cancer, it becomes hard for folks to figure out what is fact from fiction, gives a sense of urgency equipped with a hunger for frequency on the NEED to cum, furthers the implications of premature ejaculation and devalues your state of mental, spiritual, sexual and physical being (including your partner).

My partner is fully aware of my belief systems when it comes to Masturbating.  We engaged in numerous conversations about the dilemmas I find with them.  My partner claims he masturbates 2-3 times in a 7-day period.  It may not seem like much to the folks who masturbate numerous times a day over the course of seven days.  But IT IS!  Especially when my partner comes down to visit me for another 2-3 x in a week and expects me to make him cum as well.  I say make because I’m not a dumb bitch!  (And regardless of what the fuck he says, “You don’t need to make him cum.”  He’s fucking trying to feed me the bullshit!  And in this case, actions speak..well… you know the rest.)

This would mean he’ll cum at least 2-3 times by himself at home 9possibly more?) AND 2-3 times by me.  Do the fucking Math!  That’s a volcano of white eruption.  AND one I do not admire.  Jesus I don’t even cum this much in a week, regardless of how badly my vagina desires cock or (my favorite!) getting licked!  Cumming this much isn’t only selfish, but this ensures that the frequency of his testicles get emptied out as soon as they desire to tighten their hands on the horror of his soul and lack of self-control to begin with.

Meanwhile he tries to reassure me that I’m not his cumbucket.  And to make a deal with me, he would stop masturbating over at his house if I help to make him cum once a week.  And once again, in this case Actions Speak Louder Than What?  Indeed!  So, why try and bullshit me?  Why lie?  Why act as if cumming isn’t your world when the Deal is saying another story?  Why must cumming be an important factor in anybody’s life?  Why must I, even a little, assist in making him or any other fucking guy in the world cum?  I don’t feel bad for any man who masturbates and never will.  He’s getting off.  He’s performing according to the standards of what he and his penis likes.. and as for me, I can have the leisure of Chatting, Reading a book, Training, Tweeting or Blogging.

But really, if being honest hurts, know that your actions will do all the talking for you.

Pennington

This Is Life, I Guess


Where to start out?  I know this guy for years over xanga.  He’s old school, highly intelligent and just like the rest of us on xanga, sexually frustrated (for whatever reason since everyone has a reason, whether good or bad, justifiable or garbage).

Our communication was continuous and always on email. Beautiful lengthy letters with secrets, undiscovered feelings were mention with an openness of toddlers.  Opinions were sent, misunderstandings (I thought to be) were sorted out during the middle of us climbing to the point of meeting.  And the next thing I know, judgments were placed on me through my blog writings, through my words and through my Fitness Lifestyle.  I took this with good stride at first.  I, simply, don’t care what folks think about me.  I wasn’t placed in this world for people to like me and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  Doesn’t mean I have to agree with them.

All good things come to an end.
This is life, I guess.

But, my thing will be, why does a good thing have to end because of somebody else’s selfishness, being dishonest to my honesty, because of who I am, because of who you are?  Why do people rather bullshit where they stand as oppose to where they truly are?  Why can’t people respect you as you do them?

In the end, I perceived the emails to be a good climb on his part to most likely mush me up in a way where I’ll ease and do whatever he desired.  Great on an older man’s part, I mean what else do they have to go off on?  It’s wonderful for me how I’m very smart when it comes to men, relationships and human behavior.  But was it good for him to go through all this trouble, all the time invested only to later be looked at as a jerk, bullshitter or other?

We were supposed to meet.  Completely platonic.  Have some dinner.  Go out on the town.  Enjoy the city under agreements we have made.  But I’m aware that if I were another woman, more like the stupid kind, more like you can take advantage of her when you wanted to kind, more of the open arms and open sex kind of a woman that will keep my mouth shut and live up to his/your expectations kind..well, we would have met, I bet.

I’ve come to the conclusion that most men, who are insecure or who are looking to find their own sturdy ground in their own world when it comes to sex, do not like intelligent, secured or opinionated women.  It’s truly a shame they prefer to miss out on a real woman, as oppose to deal with young women who aren’t only easy to crack, but aren’t reliable.  Young women aren’t nearly as fun as how I can be and on many different types of levels, not just in the bedroom.  (And I know I talk like I’m so much older. I’m only 29.  But my mind has surpass me.)

In my last email to him, just recently, like last month, I had to let out feelings about what he’s been doing to one particular woman in his life.  This woman is young and is being taken advantage of.  She’s only aware of this to an extent, sadly.  I do not like this.  Probably because I have too much respect for women, (though many of them are dumb).  It became my business when he spoke to me about his business.  He told me about how he’s a close friend to their family, how he takes care and visits the family often, but also how he takes this young lady out to dinners, takes her on shopping sprees and etc.  Clearly she wants no sex with this man.  He has told me she only allows him to caress her arms.  But this doesn’t stop him from what he calls being a father-figure to her and being her sugar daddy.

I had to speak on it because he doesn’t see what he’s doing to this young ignorant lady.  What will happen when she gets a distorted image on what younger/older men can both provide for her mentally, physically, emotionally or sexually?  She will distrust men from the emotional to the physiological tidbits and she will have him, a huge part of her life to thank for.

Whether or not he wanted to hear this, it had to be brought to his attention because there’s something called perspective and if we can help someone even if it’s indirectly, I say help them, even if they didn’t ask.  This is how I live.  Evidently he believes he’s helping the young girl.  But don’t we tell ourselves anything to justify our right?  Then, wonder why we keep repeating the same cycles.

And in the end, who gets punished for being  humble and good person?

Pennington