The Hardest Part: Determining Factor & Decision

Where do I start?

I want to have sex with this gym member who I’ve had a crush on for a little while now.  I’m used to dating, flirting, playing show me yours and I show you mines to just plain sex with my co-workers (if I trust them).  But not with gym members.

It has been an unspoken rule for years.  Not to say I’ve never dated any of these members.  But I just never went pass first base with any of them.  No one has ever been good enough to convince me out of my inner workings.   And in my case, liquor courage doesn’t help if you don’t drink liquor.

So somewhere between reading about Procrastination and needing some excitement in my life.  I voiced to gym member (who I’ll call) Mr. Stifler two weeks ago during a conversation of heavy bag and mixed martial arts how I found him to be good-looking.  By the end of the second week he asked me out to dinner for Sunday like a casual mess.

Obviously, the initial thought of sex is there because we both expressed our attraction towards one another.  Then it became obvious over dinner at the Thai place that we both aren’t looking for relationships and (unlike other females I presume he’s been with), how I don’t need drinks to be brave because I am comfortable in my skin.  Still when I expressed to Mr. Stifler how I don’t see the point in drinking, he chimed with his charming jerk self, then you’re not drinking enough.

Ah, peer pressure, excitement, lights, highness, left me with 3 big drinks in my belly on a practically empty stomach because who eats when attraction and flirtatiousness is filling up your appetite in itself?

Here’s my deal:  My heart and mind belongs to another, although we aren’t exclusive because of my terms.  So I don’t need anybody else’s love, devotion or affection.  I don’t require it at all.

However what I fancy is to have lots of desirable fun with someone who can keep me on my toes and can make me bend my principles and morals for a night or weekend or two.  This can involve having sex with new food tastes, getting an arm/shoulder workout from playing bowling or making out drunk in Dave & Buster’s with a guy who takes me out of myself right before I have to go and get a training session in.

My only issue is I don’t consider myself to be any good (anymore) in terms of just hooking up and making the home-run happen.  I matured a little bit too much apparently.  And the hardest part before practice is just getting started, right?