Tag Archives: desires

The Madness of Want


Maybe I’m egocentric?  Or perhaps I’m unavailable to other people’s feelings when they’re based on significant others and compromises of exclusivity and the possession of my faithful sexuality to a single person?

I believe I’m made by nature to rebel against the norm, of the eager commodity of humans who remain in the center of what the world has ever known:  Familiarity.

I believe it’s exceptionally selfish to ask a person to be monogamous period.  To be able to make a conscious choice out of your philosophy, out of your environment is asking for rousing chaos.  It appears monogamy has much to do with sexuality and not of the love that unites two people.  What does love have to do with sex?  Or sex has to do with love?

I would like to know if anyone can offer me a good answer as to why a person shouldn’t be allowed to share themselves freely with another person in more ways than just an emotional or spiritual response.  Why wouldn’t I connect with someone unreservedly on sexual conditions just because my partner wouldn’t grant me permission?  My body is my will and so is my mind when I make a decision.

I’ve come to recognize there are lots of reasons as to why I don’t feel a closed relationship would work for me (until further notice).  I knew from the start I wasn’t some downright scandalous cheater but a person who felt caged and was practically dying to be unleashed into absolute liberty.

I’d wonder why I could be with a partner and decide at a whim of madness the desires I knew that weren’t going to be met by they.  Maybe what seemed to be hopeless was an expectation of a matter?  Something deeper I presently fail time and time again to put my finger on.

Perhaps I sit premeditating a cycle that becomes unbearable if I yearn for the obviousness of me wielding the power of a man’s shaft in my hands with a mind and mouth of a dangerous whore searching for the collection of sperm through wishes of instant gratification which takes place from her tangible performance.

Or perhaps I’m with a friend or two lounging with an array of smoke and alcohol and the heat of lust takes over me when I’m aware my partner and I rarely throw ourselves into the throes of passion where tongues collide first in a ritual of softness and saliva sparks the breath of required aspiration. Of a person savoring my body with their glorious hands and taking into account that tomorrow is never promised.

There isn’t a hiding place for greed, eventually it will catch up to you.  There isn’t a safe place for expectation to rest its head.  There isn’t a means to destroy the need for instantaneous connection.  Is there a point to living life without the utter abundance of life itself when there isn’t any time like the present?



Sexual Filler Songs

I’m currently a hypersexual wildebeest meaning anything sets me off such as a piece of fabric caressing my skin to flirting with the coworker who’s dying to eat my pussy in the babysitting room at the gym.  I’m a sexual monster and I mean this in the most repulsive manner.  I’m completely ill with my days and nights of gargantuan hormones.  Currently speaking, no amount of Cardio, Yoga or Weightlifting has cured it this time around, not even a spec.

I’ve been scouting the gym and looking for possibles as if I were in some local bar.  I fantasized about picking one out, treating him to coffee where I’d perform my needs analysis and put my wicked talent of people character on the table for sex.  My stare is fully manic and my eyes are hypnotic demonic, with mouth ajar and head tilted slightly to the side with a flame-broiled horny face.

Earlier today before passing by a male stranger I gave him sultry squinting bedroom eyes with my lips puckered into a bodacious smooch.  I don’t normally like getting attention.  But I enjoy giving it to others and letting their mind race with entertaining thoughts of me and what I can do.  I play the part of a person’s fantasy very well just like an Oscar actress, a Porn Star or a beloved hooker.  He never saw it coming and I knew as he kept walking he wondered was it aimed towards me? and was it intentional? Yes. Yes it fucking WAS!

Being that I’ve been wildly consumed by my needs and desires and never consumed by the thought of actually and literally masturbating I thought to come up with a list of songs I listen to when I’m feeling hypersexual.  Some may get a kick out of this because some of you fuckers openly masturbate to me while others may actually get to probably enjoy a new tune.  Unless of course, you’ll be willing to let me in on one of the songs you play when you’re feeling extra frisky? 😀

1. Heidi Montag – Body Language
2. Oro Solido – La Tanga
3. Blondie – Call Me
4. Lana Del Rey – Lolita (Or Lolyta)
5. The Raconteurs – Broken Toy Soldiers
6. Norah Jones – Turn Me On
7. Sade – Is It A Crime
8. Country Strong Soundtrack – Shake That Thing!
8. Wynter GordonDirty Talk
9. Donna SummerLove To Love You Baby
10. Calvin Harris – Feel So Close
11. Britney Spears – Selfish
12. Shakira – La Tortura
13. Flashdance Soundtrack – Manhunt
14. Maroon 5 – Stutter
15. Janet Jackson – Throb
16. Metro Station – Shake It
17. Junior Reid – One Blood
18. Fiona Apple – The First Taste
19. Enrique Iglesias – I’m Fucking You
20. Billy Idol – Rebel Yell

-Ms. Hall