I stretch long and strong and wide like a rainbow. I have my colors back from my fair complexion – and the ones I deem underneath my skin – muscles. I bask once again in the glory of my religion at the gym; eight months later after being snatch up from a break and fall accident. I’m finally home. And I welcome myself back with the eyes and psyche of a new foundation and fresh perspective that glitters like gold from the inside out with positivity and nourishment that stems from redefining everything in my life.
It’s been a long while – shy of four months to make a full year. But now, I’m in my happy place where endorphins give way to my bipolar lows so I can obtain a high again. The gym is where I center myself, where I create the magic concoction to establish balance and management of my historic chemical imbalances. It’s where I get to feel the rush of heat on my chubby cheeks and where I get to unleash my every day aggression. It’s where I thrive on the blood that swirls in burn and ache in every direction from the temple of my body and mind.
I’m once again grateful for all the higher powers that be for allowing me to feel my muscles with hurt on every movement I push without limits. I enjoy each turn as I wince out of delight from a rotation where my oblique contracts and I involve myself in the flashback of yesterday: Engaging full integrity on a few hours of work. Because for a while I forgot how soreness felt. I forgot about the subtle peaks in muscles. I forgot about the way those peaks slowly raise with fever over the course of the night and the next forty-eight hours heavy with temper – delayed onset muscular soreness.
The truth is: I can live with every part of my body given to the brutal pain of a committed lift. I can dedicate my entire life to infinite repetitions. I can die happy on my last breath being exerted against the resistance of iron, and the cerebral connection vital for my mental, spiritual and emotional therapy. I mean, after all is said and done, the gym is a home dedicated to self-love, despite the general mundane (and sometimes) pieces of a day to day. This is where my importance lies and one of the many things that gives my life character, spirit, purpose and beauty.