Tag Archives: People

Outlived Convictions


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Over the past few years I’ve been redefining every aspect of my life.

Out of tragedies come blessings unseen and unexpected. Things that I could think up is nothing compared to what life, the universe and God could give me.  I watch every aspect of my existence unfold like a pretty origami.

I whisper, it’s okay to be like water.

Form only to be formless again.
Give up the concrete.

All the little things add up.

Like leaving people and situations that no longer serve me.  It’s amazing how much I kept due to systems, two-way arrangements and outlived convictions.

It’s crazy how much one single person can be a parasite plaguing your life because they made it all about themselves.  Those people I had in my life who took up space and rarely asked, “How are you doing?  How is your mood?  Do you need help with anything?  Is that person, place or thing serving you?”

I enjoy unfriending people I outgrew and who I no longer share the same thought patterns and commonality with.  Particularly, the atheists.

I love creating boundaries with whomever I’m dealing with currently.  I don’t think enough people do this.  It’s very liberating, and time is short to deal with too many things that weigh the shoulders like anvils.  For too long I lived with a heart and mind of steel.  Always, tough, guarded and heavy when the soul needs to feel light to explore freely.

Ah, and to lighten the load further.  I love throwing old clothes away that no longer suit my frame or non-gym mentality.

And would you believe me if I say, I learned many of my new self-care habits from observing my sweet cat.  The way she grooms herself numerous times a day in meditation.  The way she pulls on her nails when she knows they’re detaching because they stopped serving their purpose.  The way she loves herself.

How many people do you know practice self-care?

Personally, I don’t know many.  The people I know are too busy looking for instant gratifications, the next editor app to make themselves appear more beautiful than what they’re not while others are taking drugs trying to escape their own jails and hells.

In treating myself with more love, care and concern, it has allowed me to heal and move past some of my emotional, physical and mental trauma.  It allows me to become hyper-aware when others, including situations are trying to disregard my care simply by trying to take advantage of me in some way.

I’m always surprised by others and how callous they are.  Like how they don’t see the fine line between respect and disrespect, compliments as opposed to insults, caring versus being indifferent.

I wonder about politeness – and is it even real?  Or is everyone just pretending to give something just so they can get something back in return?

These days I’ve learned how to speak and express more whereas before I would write everything down on paper and express myself through emails.  There were times when people who’ve met me didn’t like me very much in the beginning because I was a mute.  I was a very content mute because I love observing.  Nowadays, I’ve found some satisfaction in communicating and volunteering random information with others.

I like that I bloomed in many ways.  I used to think that being vulnerable and open was being weak.  I guess, perhaps I was vulnerable and open with the wrong people.  I realized that with my continual kindness and personal growth, I can be strong by being soft and gentle, too.

-Pennington

The Affair of Coworkers


9am

I go to work and perform repetitive duties.  All around me, for the most part, I see the matching dire attitude and hopeless behavior.  I see worn out characters attached to a status of a title and zombie-like conformity in their soulless eyes.  There is no beauty ladies and gentleman, there is no savior.

I see the same faces, and to some I cringe in an imaginary mode of arthritis and to some I overlook their presence like a Debbie-downer and others I welcome to the stage an infamous sun-beaming smile to deter blurs.  I preserve a high guard but play each and every card hard.

These scripted actors and actresses live outside their personal lives and live their personal lives with a past due account.  They’re miserable looking for a way out of their life debt with the company of tequila, marijuana and shameless sex with one another.  They’re all parasite routs.

I’m lost with how I became caught up in wearing nail polish because my female coworkers are in the midst of a competition I don’t fully comprehend.  I don’t make up well.  I rather hold on tightly to my personality than exist catty.  I guess it’s why I have nil lady friends.

I flirt with the crowd all day.  Young and old, fat or thin, dork or douche, I light the world of their features and make them red and forget the next word that was to come out their meek mouths.  And what confident woman doesn’t enjoy the feeling of being well-endowed?

Than when I turn my back there’s a callous jealous cunt waiting for the right moment to knock me off my pedestal.  But the odd thing is I know in return there’s this sickness unfathomable in her chemicals of wanting to lick away at my pussy.  I find all of this and more fairly amusing.

-Pennington©

Shameless


Ms. Marvel 1

I haven’t been pissed off all day.  The day has been good to me and I honestly can’t complain although I tried on 6 pairs of Lululemon Athletica pants to find the perfect fit and eventually gave up though that was my Personal Best in a fitting room in my lifetime.  Oh and I failed with 2 1/2lbs dumbbells with a Master Trainer working on my rotator cuff injury.  But, the point is, I like to be angry.  So now I’ve been looking for something to upset me and naturally I found it!

Here’s the question:  Why would Pauline Nordin (creator and founder of FightDiet.com) openly and publicly bash Dana Linn Bailey (an IFBB Pro) on her Facebook Page?

I don’t understand it.  In general, I will never understand why women rather put one another down as oppose to lend a helping hand or “bigging them up” in the process of dedication and discipline in a world where we bleed monthly cycles, choose to give life and where religion crucifies us.  We need unity in order to reach the top globally.

Growing up I used to believe it was the men who kept women down (aside from powerful political positions, etc and such).  But the older I became, the more I started to observe how horrible women are to other women without rhyme or reason.  They just lash out for their own purpose, own agendas and quite possibly for no other reason than perhaps they didn’t bond with their biological mother or someone spilled coffee on their favorite blouse.  Who really knows?

So, no, I don’t agree with women hating on other women ESPECIALLY when it concerns bodysculpting and/or bodybuilding and all that applies concerning this subject.  It’s difficult for any woman to build muscle or to get super lean for thousands of reasons say hormones to holding a higher percentage of bodyfat than men.

And for a woman who’s supposed to be for women everywhere, who considers herself a business/professional woman and a public figure with lots of fans on her Facebook Page who constantly pushes her FighterDiet concept to everyone (to become lean and muscular) to state (while displaying a photo of DLB) that she finds another Fitness Model a Nay as oppose to a Yay and isn’t sexy or healthy is downright disgusting.  It says a lot about her character.  Mostly her flaws within them.

Why preach about being lean and muscular but get on another woman’s case for being exactly that?  It’s basically calling the kettle black.

For me, it’s important to have support, to never put people down even when they’re starting from a low place (or in this case super high place).  Naturally I would presume that the Fitness Industry should be here as a community of like-minded supportive individuals for crying out loud.  Granted we may not all see eye to eye or share the same physique ideals or have the same training/diet philosophies.  But this is why it’s important to be an individual, to be different, to be unique, to be humble, to have integrity.  But also to be respectful of others.

The fact remains that the Fitness Industry and the Fitness Enthusiasts and Pros should be the first to lend a healthy and high demand of concern and care for the very same people who put in their hard work and effort regardless of how one is perceived physically because their beliefs are “it’s not feminine or sexy-looking.”  And what does it matter to you/her if you aren’t the person you’re speaking of?  What’s feminine?  What constitutes as masculine?  Is it a label?  Or a matter of perception?  Are they illusions? Or a matter of stereotypes?

This woman Pauline isn’t immune to body issues like the millions of women on the universe.  There have been statuses and even blog related posts about how people get on her case for how she looks like:  Strong, muscly and very lean.  So to pick, give a public statement/opinion on another Pro’s body is outrageous and it comes off like a form of betrayal.  Mostly for every other woman who does take the art and sport of building muscle and getting lean seriously (which sadly, includes herself).

It’s 2012 and we’re going into 2013 and there are lots of women who still refuse to get a handle on things.  By things, I mean what’s wrong and what’s right. When it comes to assisting and encouraging other women with everything involving Fitness (and out of it) and their daily lives.  It’s a moral and dignity game.

Can women allow other women to live muscular and strong?  Can other women find it within themselves to learn how to be encouraging rather than put another woman down for being who she wants to be?  (Aside from sluts.  Fuck sluts! ;-))  When you judge someone based completely on looks (or money or what car they drive or what books they read), it says a lot about one’s character FLAWS.. especially when one is doing it in public for others (especially their fans) to see.

It’s utterly shameless.

-Pennington

Admirers Come In Vaginas Too


There’s a gift I have (I mean, what else could it be?) where people are magnetically drawn to me whether it’s a child (not sure how since I dislike children?), men (no shit!) and women (for some reason).  I know men like pretty things and Americans enjoy big jugs and they have a dick and they think every vagina they come across in the city is an outlet to plug in.  But when it comes to women and what they like about me I’m as a clueless as a person who sits down and realizes they don’t practice a word of the philosophy they speak.

I wanted to ask this one gal who clearly was a dyke and clearly had a huge crush on me (said her action of stalking me outside of my Automotive Body and Repair classes) until she locked the bathroom door behind us and tried to kiss me dead on.  Still til this day many of my friends theorize:  You act too masculine Pennington and that’s why women are attracted to you.  But this can’t be correct because men would be attracted to feminine men as well, if I went by this?  No?  I don’t know?

Anyhow, every now and again since I’ve been training in the gym since 2003 there are two types of women who check me out:  Those who are jealous and those who actually admire me.  I never paid attention to the first types of women because there aren’t many women who can compete with who I am or even how much I lift or volume.  And as far as my admirers are concern I never fully paid them any attention, at first.

Until one night my brother pointed out this very pretty caramel-complexion twenty-something lady who’s eyes would follow me everywhere I lifted.  Since I went on a regular basis during the time I had extra time to observe.  One night leaving out the doorway my brother said, “good night” to her but she didn’t respond.  Instead she turned to me and said, “Good night.  Have a nice holiday” in a very flirtatious kind of way as if she’s in love, completely googly-eyed.  I looked at her type of admiration to be truly thoughtful and always took the time to be nice to her.

Then there was this other admirer in a form of a Zumba instructor.  I took a few of her classes. Mostly to work my grind and vagina in the air when I needed to boost up my sex-esteem (due to menstruation).  It works!  Whatever.  What I thought was strange however is every week after she was done teaching her class she would hang out with me until I CLOSED down the gym.  At first she would talk to me about some guy who she was head over heels over (I believe because he’s a millionaire) and how he just treated her like a booty call.

The she started to talk about her loneliness (which I tend to think horniness)and the greenlight smacked my head when it was time for me to change out my uniform.  She would follow me into the locker room (every single time) and guess who all of a sudden decided they need to change as well?  She’d chatted up a fucking dictionary while never sucking in breath saying something about her tits that went in one ear and out the other and tried to make conversation about my tits.

And one flip of her sports bra when I had my back turned and BAM!  Her breasts were out and I scratched my head with fake intention not sure who’s more nonchalant her tits or her?  Now some might consider this type of attention and boldness lucky (probably straight men? perhaps a lesbian?) as she patted her sweaty shining breasts with a towel.  But I assure you I was utterly dreadful inside.  Why me?  Why does this always happen to me?  I got the fuck out the building quick as lightning and I stop taking her Zumba classes.

Now why am I bringing this up?  Glad you asked!  Last night after I finished my workout at the gym right as I was about to head out exhaustively my coworker introduced me to this gal.  First thing I noticed was this gal mentioned she saw me working out (which I wondered:  how as I only workout where the men are in the basement lifting rawrs?  so she must have watched and scoped during) and her eyes grew big in buggy excitement.

I automatically felt on my vibe that this chica is giving me a certain kind of vibe.  (Although yeah I could be undergoing a case of normal paranoia?)  But as my coworker kept talking about how she has to lose weight and drain a fatty tissue from her bulging chin because she’s now 300lbs, this gal (who I’ll nickname Hazel-Eye) would not leave.  I tested the situation (by staying a bit longer), snacking on a Perfect Zone bar, finishing it along with hearing a lecture about going back to school and how do I always make sure to workout?  And this gal would not leave.

Actually she didn’t leave until I told my coworker I have to bounce to make it to the market on time.  She walks out with me and starts talking about, “Can we workout together?”  And of course I’m not going to say no to anyone who wants to workout PERIOD!  But I’m thinking this is how I bag dudes numbers by telling them, “Hey we should workout sometime.”  Is she doing the same?  Unfortunately I don’t have the answers.  Still we walked to the train station, exchanged numbers and we chatted until out trains came.

Signing off skeptical as fuck.

-Pennington

The Fright Fact List



Sometimes I play the tough woman in real life, even on television (wait – what?), on my blogs to family and associates alike who I truly believe share the same shady characteristics because they’re human and overly emotional.  However I especially dish out tough love (even when it’s ever so exhausting to keep up an act or two) when I have to shut shit (or men) down.  But I’m truly a sweet loving one-of-a-kind sometimes timid gal who blushes when you and I least expect.

So I decided to share a list of things that genuinely scare me (in one way or another) to display the fact that even though I can be a robot at times, underneath the heavy-duty guards I’m human too – unfortunately.  To keep the list short I figured I skip the explanations and examples.  These aren’t in any particular order.   By the way, if I peak(ed) your curiosity feel free to point it out or ask me in the box below.  In general, I don’t bite.  But I LIFT SHIT! 😉

1. Thunder.
2. Waterbugs.
3. Of the dark.
4. Big penises.
5. New exercises.
6. Frying food.
7. Experimenting with new vegetables.
8. Running out of inspiration.
9. Not having new addictions.
10. Constructing a plan.
11. Getting sick.
12. Women.
13. Other people’s perceptions/expectations of me.
14. Dealing with money.
15. Losing weight.
16. Losing muscle.
17. Losing a limb.
18. Never using my talents.
19. Never having a best friend.
20. Dying in a car crash.

What scares you?

-Pennington

Video: Doesn’t This Pump You Up?


It sure does me!

Whenever I’m feeling a little low on the vibration of motivation, I can turn to videos I know will spark up and rev the engine in my bleeding heart. Quite interesting how in the beginning of this video Haley answers a question with a question: “Why wouldn’t somebody want to be big? I don’t understand.” I fucking agree! Which leads me to go off on my own rant… I like to call Pennington’s Briefs.

On the case about Women: What I don’t understand is why women want to look like thin rail supermodels? Why are they always trying to fit into skinny jeans when (most likely) women are taking the visions and fashion advice from gay thin males? Why wouldn’t women want to be strong so they can defend themselves in case someone came along and tried to mug or God Forbid rape them? Why are women so comfortable playing the card of the victim? Why does a woman feel she have to impress/be fearful/remain a good gal by allowing a male’s ego to be boastful and full of masculinity? Is this the only way she can feel secure, by allowing her man to be all the things she wouldn’t dare to be? Why wouldn’t these women want to pride themselves on their own strength: physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?

On the case of Men: What I don’t understand is why are there so many men in the world who are overweight but don’t comprehend that they have no right to be? First reason being: Men don’t carry 3 basketballs within their stomach only to give birth to children in the end? I’ve never met a guy who can give birth. Have you? Why are men obese when their hormones don’t fluctuate nearly (as much) as women, nor do men hold 8% essential body fat compared to women? Why are men completely comfortable with exposing their bellies? They get undressed and wear it like a badge of honor (like Buddha) among the streets with their hands folded as it lies on top of their bellies as if it were a coffee table? Seriously, what the fuck is that?

If I were a man, knowing how simple it is to get muscle due to high levels of testosterone I wouldn’t fuck around. I’d be in the gym day in and day out building (as how I’m doing now).  And if I were a man and I didn’t sport muscles I would be embarrassed to call myself a man, even if I brought home the bacon, spend time with my wife/kids and have solutions to almost any problem in the world. The definition of a man is to display a hardbody, is to perform physical labor, is to flaunt around your strength, not your gut. So, again, what’s wrong with everyday regular men? Oh I know: They’re a bunch of flaccid dicks who prefer to watch their favorite athletes/superheros do what they could never achieve themselves. Simply because they’re too fucking lazy! What fuckin losers?

And women. Tsk. Tsk. They have a lot of growing out of centuries to do!

To all my men who want to look and live like real He-Men, who are striving to be athletes no matter what age.. To all my women who refuse to live like victims who want to stand out of society, who want to better themselves physically with productive strength and accomplishments.. living in and out the gym, sweating the fat, sugars, carbs out, who are growing beastly arms and legs, who are dieting, who are looking to be ripped and shredded or be bigger than Arnold or Heath. My fucking heart and soul goes out to you’s. I know how hard it is, how many years it takes, how much discipline goes down the bodysculpting hole. I love YOU guys! And the rest..who’s going to notice them? They’re on their fucking couch watching Kobe, A-Rod, Batman wasting away anyhow. 😉

Pennington

Where’s The Loyalty?


What’s the first thing you think about when you hear the word: Loyalty? Do you naturally come up with the pet you own in your house? You know like a dog or a cat?  Do you think “Man this world has gone to shit, where even the companies I work for aren’t Loyal anymore?” Well, I’m going to touch on one topic only. Women, quite obvious to me, have an issue with being loyal to….

I’ve always been confused by the unfaithful culture, the joy turn backstabbing, the friendly or bitchy betrayal we’ve grown so accustomed to since childhood or with our own mothers, to why men love to be in the middle dedicating their own fabricated stories to both ends of the spectrum  in between two women friends who are about to have a friendship more broken than a mom who finds her rumored gay son to have hung himself.

Where is the loyalty between women?  Why does it seem so hard to get along with women?  Where did this start?  Why does it happen still til this day?  Do women not care about other women?  Why can men have best friends and not have to worry about ever ridding his best friend, even after his best friend sleeps with his woman?

I find something very wrong with this picture.
Despite my ways of being a different breed of woman.

Have you notice ladies, how you can grow up with your cousins/best friends and somewhere along the line, say by the time you’re 16 years old, something happens?  You guys have a falling out, but it was as soundless as giving your spouse the silent treatment. Never in your brain would you have imagined that the friend you did everything with (from abortions, to drunk wallowing parties, to clubbing, using men, lying to your parents, covering each others backs, to learning tricks from one another from making your pants tighter to squeezing into size 3 pants knowing you both were a size 5) wouldn’t be around anymore.

Have you notice how women are willing to give up their best friends over some guy? Wait let me repeat that again: HAVE  YOU EVER NOTICE HOW WOMEN ARE WILLING TO GIVE UP THEIR BEST FRIEND FOR A GUY? WHY? How and when did it become important for a woman to keep a man much closer than a friend? Again, where’s the loyalty among women? And why haven’t we, after so many generations, have done nothing to change this fact? Why is it hard to bond and bring a whole diversity of Sisterhood together. Why do all the men get to have all the fun with their guy friends? Does this last fact not bother enough women in the world to want to change?

I never understood why women find their men to be so important. I know women, FULL GROWN WOMEN who find having/being with a man to be a matter of Life and Death. To the point where they’ll more than easily and have more than easily given up their own kids, all for the chase. Last year I met 2 women, who I wanted so deeply to help and be great friends with. But as long as their men were around, they couldn’t get out of that negativity. One was getting abuse physically by her bodybuilding boyfriend. She thought he was vital to her life. And the other woman, well, let’s just say that CPS had to get involved of her boyfriend abusing her daughter. To make matters worse, he wasn’t the father. Why don’t these women see with clearer eyes as to how horrific all this truly is?

The majority of men will leave when they feel they’ve had enough of the qualities or vagina of a woman. Men will backstab a woman quicker than what the woman’s best friend is willing to do. But women are more than readily to overlook the many times her boyfriend/husband has stabbed a dagger through her back. This has always baffled me. And then I question, “Why?” Could it be security reasons? Could it be for companion reasons? Sex? There is nothing one man could possibly have that another man can’t have in the future. And definitely the majority of men aren’t worth giving a friend up for.

I also never understood those silly girls/women who have the nerves to leave their best friends/friends just because they have kissed or slept with their guy. Sex is a physical thing and some women need to understand that there’s nothing emotional about it, even if their men whines and says, “Yes sex is wonderfully and incredibly emotional when I have it with you.” It’s bullshit! Wait til he cheats on your ass because you aren’t doing something he wants you to do. Then, what happens? No best friend to cry to, eh? I’ve had friends in the past who has slept, kissed and whatever have you with my boyfriends. And I don’t give a fuck. Why should I? It was his and her choice. But I remained friends with her the next day because life is too short to not have any type of True Loyalty. And that’s what I look for in people.

Does my friend fucking my guy have anything to do with loyalty? No. And if you need proof, just ask yourself: Why can men be friends with their best man after he fucked the woman of his life? If they can do it! Women can do it too. Understand men place emphasis on different things as women do. And sex, once again, isn’t emotional, ladies. Ever heard the saying: “Women give sex to receive love and men give love to receive sex.” Who’s the idiot in this equation?

All this thinking came to light right after I notice that not one single one of my female friends from the past has come to search me through Facebook (as I have them). And I find it strange, (except it’s not really odd at all), how the only ones who searched for me were men. But men aren’t looking for loyalty, unless it has to do with their penis. Men only searched me because they want to have sex with me, because they figure if they didn’t have a chance with me back then, that they could try me out now. Maybe they think I’ve lowered my standards? 😉

And this led me to all this ramble: How is it hat women aren’t even loyal to get back and in touch  with the people who started out loyal to them in the first place?  In a way, this saddens me.

Pennington

Truth Foreplay


I get tired of having the same conversation and knowing I’m not going to get anywhere by showing, demonstrating, pinpointing, stating, referring, linking and whatever have you to this word called:  Foreplay.  It’s pretty basic stuff.  All one has to do is keep keen and consider all notions and stylize them into brilliant state of the art masterpieces.  Sounds difficult already, doesn’t it?

The only thing making it difficult are the men who choose to live and listen to what other men have to say about foreplay.  HELL, most women are still trying to figure out what foreplay is because they never received it in the first place.  *Questions:  Where’s my imaginary gun?*  *shoots brains*  To give it to you straighter than a Grey Goose Label:  Foreplay isn’t something you do to get sex.  Foreplay isn’t a manual or God‘s blueprint to get vagina.  Foreplay isn’t a guarantee or a free pass to getting any creampies.  Foreplay has nothing to do with sex!  PERIOD!  I don’t care what you agreed to when you were younger.

Foreplay is something only real men partake in, to make sure they’re ahead of the enterprise at all times.  Foreplay’s about being a magician and knowing when and how to wield the magic wand so that everyone is satisfied with the game called Life.  Foreplay’s marketing.  Foreplay’s status.  Foreplay shall always be funky fresh and innovative.  Why?  Because this allows the wages to be place high due to your hard work, million gifted and honed abilities!  Those skills first being:  Time, Effort, Dedication, Discipline, Art, Seduction, Wisdom, Experience and by far.. Intuition.. all rolled into one has brought nothing but your best foot forward, your finer character and confidence forward.  That’s foreplay.

Many men lack foreplay because:  1.  They aren’t confident (and if I were a man it would be hard to be confident. ;))  2. They believe foreplay involves getting sex.  3.  The lack of dedication to studying women as a whole is lacking.

And there are no excuses except that most men would rather watch hours of television (that by the way gives you billions upon billions of wrong way and impressions to go about foreplay just so the system can benefit from humans and their emotional turmoils), play hours of video games and prefer studying the plays on the next Football game.  (Oh, this sounds a lot like men just want to play and not put in any effort?  😉 )  So rather then men take the time to study the know how’s and efficient approaches to getting what they ultimately desire:  A woman.

So many men around the world would rather be comfortable and not shed any ridicule, rejection, embarrassment or humiliate themselves in front of THEMSELVES!  Instead they rather be comfortable in their comfort, under their parents comfort abode, watch comfort porn and have comfort sex with their comfort hand. Hey, listen, don’t bitch, complain and whine to me about why you’re so lonely and will be alone for the rest of your life.  I mean, you gave all that shit up for Comfort.  What else could be wrong? 😉

Pennington

This Is Life, I Guess


Where to start out?  I know this guy for years over xanga.  He’s old school, highly intelligent and just like the rest of us on xanga, sexually frustrated (for whatever reason since everyone has a reason, whether good or bad, justifiable or garbage).

Our communication was continuous and always on email. Beautiful lengthy letters with secrets, undiscovered feelings were mention with an openness of toddlers.  Opinions were sent, misunderstandings (I thought to be) were sorted out during the middle of us climbing to the point of meeting.  And the next thing I know, judgments were placed on me through my blog writings, through my words and through my Fitness Lifestyle.  I took this with good stride at first.  I, simply, don’t care what folks think about me.  I wasn’t placed in this world for people to like me and everyone is entitled to their own opinions.  Doesn’t mean I have to agree with them.

All good things come to an end.
This is life, I guess.

But, my thing will be, why does a good thing have to end because of somebody else’s selfishness, being dishonest to my honesty, because of who I am, because of who you are?  Why do people rather bullshit where they stand as oppose to where they truly are?  Why can’t people respect you as you do them?

In the end, I perceived the emails to be a good climb on his part to most likely mush me up in a way where I’ll ease and do whatever he desired.  Great on an older man’s part, I mean what else do they have to go off on?  It’s wonderful for me how I’m very smart when it comes to men, relationships and human behavior.  But was it good for him to go through all this trouble, all the time invested only to later be looked at as a jerk, bullshitter or other?

We were supposed to meet.  Completely platonic.  Have some dinner.  Go out on the town.  Enjoy the city under agreements we have made.  But I’m aware that if I were another woman, more like the stupid kind, more like you can take advantage of her when you wanted to kind, more of the open arms and open sex kind of a woman that will keep my mouth shut and live up to his/your expectations kind..well, we would have met, I bet.

I’ve come to the conclusion that most men, who are insecure or who are looking to find their own sturdy ground in their own world when it comes to sex, do not like intelligent, secured or opinionated women.  It’s truly a shame they prefer to miss out on a real woman, as oppose to deal with young women who aren’t only easy to crack, but aren’t reliable.  Young women aren’t nearly as fun as how I can be and on many different types of levels, not just in the bedroom.  (And I know I talk like I’m so much older. I’m only 29.  But my mind has surpass me.)

In my last email to him, just recently, like last month, I had to let out feelings about what he’s been doing to one particular woman in his life.  This woman is young and is being taken advantage of.  She’s only aware of this to an extent, sadly.  I do not like this.  Probably because I have too much respect for women, (though many of them are dumb).  It became my business when he spoke to me about his business.  He told me about how he’s a close friend to their family, how he takes care and visits the family often, but also how he takes this young lady out to dinners, takes her on shopping sprees and etc.  Clearly she wants no sex with this man.  He has told me she only allows him to caress her arms.  But this doesn’t stop him from what he calls being a father-figure to her and being her sugar daddy.

I had to speak on it because he doesn’t see what he’s doing to this young ignorant lady.  What will happen when she gets a distorted image on what younger/older men can both provide for her mentally, physically, emotionally or sexually?  She will distrust men from the emotional to the physiological tidbits and she will have him, a huge part of her life to thank for.

Whether or not he wanted to hear this, it had to be brought to his attention because there’s something called perspective and if we can help someone even if it’s indirectly, I say help them, even if they didn’t ask.  This is how I live.  Evidently he believes he’s helping the young girl.  But don’t we tell ourselves anything to justify our right?  Then, wonder why we keep repeating the same cycles.

And in the end, who gets punished for being  humble and good person?

Pennington